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Letting Go and Belonging to Myself

vibrant orange to purple sunset over a dry lake bed framed by trees

Explaining my absence is probably the first order of business.  As I mentioned before the end of spring semester is its own beast.  Like the end of any other term it is hectic and stressful, but there is some additional dark magic at work in academy during the month of April.  Every demand on your time, report to write, email to send, meeting to attend adds some kind of exponential weight and stress.  Additionally this year as I trudged through April, I suddenly felt the significance of everything that has happened to me in the last two years. In many ways the stress, my mood, and my general exhaustion mirrored the way I felt as I finished my dissertation and approached graduation.

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Vacation Vagaries

The beginning of any vacation is a wonderful thing.  The expanse of days stretch out before you full of endless possibilities.  About half way through the vacation, you might as well go back to work.  The knowledge that the vacation is almost over sinks in, and you begin to realize you haven’t done half of what you expected to do. This would explain why I haven’t been able to sleep for the last two nights.

Although I’m happy that I have done something every day, and gotten some work done, on some level I wanted to do more, and now I am freaking out.  Paradoxically, that is also why I am writing here instead of the the dissertation file.  In a little while the DH and I are taking in our last vacation event – a 3D showing of Prometheus.  You will not, however, be getting a review from me because when we get home I will pop a xanax, open the dissertation document, and stare at it for the next 10 hours.

For the first glorious portion of our vacation the DH and I packed up the car, grabbed the dogs, and headed to the north Georgia mountains where we had rented a cabin.  I loved it!  We didn’t really do half the things we could have because I was writing and stuff, but we were away from home.  Also, I don’t think either of us would mind going back to do some hiking.  Below the fold is the best picture from our trip.

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