July, 2013

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Feast or Famine: Drought or Sharknados

You might think that as a writing teacher who regularly extols the virtues of free writing and writing regularly I would learn not to fret when I “just don’t have anything to write about,” or fall into the blogger trap of “who cares what I have to say anyway.” I should know the only thing to do in those moments is to breathe deeply, look at the world around me, and put my fingers to the keyboard because then the ideas will come. Eventually the ideas arrive faster than I can coherently write them. In just the last 48 hours, I’ve almost finished a book and have started thinking about what I would like to write about it. The North Carolina and Texas political assaults on women deserves some attention. There is plenty about my summer job that I just shouldn’t write about, and, just last night KnittyKay sent me a tweet about working class academic issues. In short, I’ve gone from “I don’t know what to write about” to “There’s too much to write about.” Feast or famine.

For the past year, maybe longer, I don’t think I can’t count how many times I have seen some version of this image.

20130713-074824.jpg Image from Here (Not sure about original):

Seriously, when I searched the slogan, “I can’t believe I still have to protest this shit.” there were 10 pages of results. I just chose the first image I remember seeing of this sign. The point is that it feels like some new reason to mutter this crops up everyday: the Florida courts, the Texas legislature, the North Carolina legislature, the poor treatment of a vast portion of the academic workforce, feminine hygiene products treated as deadly weapons, the list just goes on and on… You might think deluge a better metaphor for this list, but I chose drought because I believe that this list also represents a lack. We each might think of that lack differently – a lack of common decency, a lack of respect, a lack of generosity, a lack of care, but the lack is there. It is what makes it possible for legislatures to ignore their constituents, courts to put victims on trial, and employers to justify abysmal working conditions.

The lack is insidious because it remains undefined – something missing, something wrong, perhaps even invisible until one of two things happens. The public is galvanized by an example, and is able to finally point and say, “That! That is what has been missing!”
An example of this was the public reaction to (and support of) Wendy Davis.

20130713-081811.jpg I found this image here, where it is listed via Facebook:Taylor Marsh It reads: “Wendy Davis, first of her name, Khaleesi of the Texas Prairie, born in a storm of Repbulican tears, Breaker of Patriarchy, Mother of Freedom and Queen of our Hearts.”

Davis stood, spoke, and it was like a drop of rain on parched earth. People responded, where they may not have been able to define the lack, they recognized what they needed and wanted. Suddenly, we were a nation of Texans. A week later people, once again, tried to speak back – this time to the North Carolina legislature. I like to think that those of us in NC would have come forward and protested regardless, but I think the momentum created by the Texas event help spur the swift reaction the NC Legislature’s shenanigans.

The problem with the lack I am trying to define is that it represents a constant drain of resources. Like a low grade, but constantly present headache, toothache, or fever it wears a person down. Often the drain of those resources is most keenly felt just when the lack is truly revealed. Galvanized by the shiny example of what the world needs people begin to react and just as quickly realize how little energy there is left for action. Those moments are best illustrated by what becomes entertainment. The dire nature of the current political and cultural climate is, I think, best illustrated by the phenomenon that Sharknado became this week.

Certainly, there have always been those willing to watch Syfy made for television movies like Mega-Shark Vs. Giant Octopus if only for the wonderful snark fodder they represent.  This week, however, Sharknado captured the country’s attention.  It gave everyone a chance to suspend their disbelief and turn to the patently ridiculously in an effort to relieve the burden of what was happening in their states and/or country. I am sure this need to escape fueled many other forays into the truly improbably, like Godzilla, or I Dream of Jeannie. It is all I can think of to explain the sheer range of people who tweeted, wrote, or talked about watching Sharknado. Or, maybe I am wrong, maybe twitter just makes everyone’s viewing habits that much more visible, and we all just have really bad taste in movies.

In this case I think Sharknado was a collective sigh of relief. Something to momentarily relieve us from the fatigue brought on by the serious drought of common decency, respect, generosity, kindness, (insert your version here) in the current political and cultural climate. I hope Sharknado made everyone who watched laugh just a little and revived their spirits just enough to continue with this fight.

Magical Thinking

Although this flies in the face of all the dog training rules that say “Do Not Make A Big Deal About Leaving,” we’ve always had a leaving ritual that the dogs seem to enjoy.

We get ourselves ready to go, gather up a Kong filled with treats and a little peanut butter, or just a little biscuit or two, and then we say, “Where do good dogs go?” Or, some variation like, “Who’s going to show me where good dogs go?” Sure enough, Yasser and Moshe head off to their crates, or as we call them “boxes,” and wait for their treats. From all the evidence, they both enjoy this process. Well, when there are too many long days in a row with both Bradley and I working, Moshe often leaves his treat for later to come stand in the hall and watch us walk out the door. It is pathetic and heartbreaking – like when he watches me drive away…

20130709-204347.jpg

Moshe is our sweet dog, but perhaps not our smartest dog. Occasionally, we will find him in the middle of the living room doing this:

20130709-204541.jpg
The kong is empty.

When Yasser knows the kong is empty, but wants something more, he picks it up and does the doggy equivalent of throwing it at you. As if to say, “I want some more, damnit!” Moshe apparently believes that if he stares hard enough new treats will magically appear in the kong. Seriously, I’ve seen him hold this stare for a good 5 minutes.

Magical Thinking

Although this flies in the face of all the dog training rules that say “Do Not Make A Big Deal About Leaving,” we’ve always had a leaving ritual that the dogs seem to enjoy.

We get ourselves ready to go, gather up a Kong filled with treats and a little peanut butter, or just a little biscuit or two, and then we say, “Where do good dogs go?” Or, some variation like, “Who’s going to show me where good dogs go?” Sure enough, Yasser and Moshe head off to their crates, or as we call them “boxes,” and wait for their treats. From all the evidence, they both enjoy this process. Well, when there are too many long days in a row with both Bradley and I working, Moshe often leaves his treat for later to come stand in the hall and watch us walk out the door. It is pathetic and heartbreaking – like when he watches me drive away…

20130709-204347.jpg

Moshe is our sweet dog, but perhaps not our smartest dog. Occasionally, we will find him in the middle of the living room doing this:

20130709-204541.jpg
The kong is empty.

When Yasser knows the kong is empty, but wants something more, he picks it up and does the doggy equivalent of throwing it at you. As if to say, “I want some more, damnit!” Moshe apparently believes that if he stares hard enough new treats will magically appear in the kong. Seriously, I’ve seen him hold this stare for a good 5 minutes.

Practicing What I Preach

Did I mention that the big summer tutoring program started this week? How about that this requires me to be out of the office, but accessible by email/text, from 12:15 – 4:00pm every day for the next month? That time is spent attending meetings and observing tutoring sessions to provide the tutors with some continued development. We observe often, and give the tutors feedback, since we know how limited the training is at the beginning. The thing is that, like teaching, there is only so much that you can train for and the rest has to happen as on the job training.

Yesterday, I had to fill in for a tutor who had a Dr’s appointment that couldn’t be re-scheduled. This might be the second year of this program, but it really was the first time I had to do the tutoring work for which I was training people. I was oddly nervous. In the end though, it was fun. As challenging as they can be, this population of students can be really fun to work with. The biggest thing I learned, though, was just how difficult the job we ask the tutors to do is.

I did my best to practice everything from training, and I am happy to say — I think it worked. It made me feel good about the expectations we set.

Submitted …

Last night I submitted my initial materials to one of the jobs I determined would be a good test run. Of course that means the truly insidious part of this process has begun. Submitting an application in the academic job market is not the same, as submitting applications elsewhere. The long nature of the hiring process means there is a lot more time for uncertainty. Time for you to really imagine what it would be like to get the job, to live in the city, to decide you might really want this job after all. Deciding you might want the job, then leads to an increased amount of anxiety about application materials, and how far you might make it. Did I do well enough to make the cut for a phone interview, campus visit?

Then I did the really stupid thing of returning to the online application to review my submitted materials. I didn’t notice any glaring issues, but I did realize my cover letter is really choppy. Not quite a list, but there are no unifying themes tying everything together … and I worry it was too me focused, not enough “Look how well I fit the holes in your program.” But, it is submitted, so it is done now. The best I can do is forget about it.

On Saturday I met with Dr. Knitty Kay for a coffee and work date. We haven’t met up since she moved to the next town over, which feels like two states away for some reason. I see people in Greensboro more often than I see her these days. She pointed out the fun part of getting your materials together is seeing everything you’ve done, and really feeling a sense of confidence. And, yes, I felt like that all last night and this morning.

It was great, until I messed up at work. I thought several other people were taking care of one part of the great summer tutoring project. They thought I was doing it. The result was that we were halfway through a big meeting when I had to run down to the office to locate an essential item. It is like I was getting too confident in myself and the universe had to assume my mother’s role of knocking me down a peg or two.

Duly noted universe, duly noted.