Memoir
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In lieu of the dissertation
Busy times, busy times.
In a perfect world busy times might mean I have a lot to say, but I think we’ve already established this is not a perfect world. Around here, busy times just means other writing. The last couple of weeks, I’ve actually managed to work a little on my dissertation.
Last week, I think it was Tuesday, I turned in the first few pages of my Introduction to my committee chair. She sent me good feedback, and said she was pleased. Riding the high of getting the introduction in shape, I brazenly thought I could just dive into Chapter 1 a.k.a – THE THEORY. As much as I adore M. Levinas about two minutes of diving back into Totality and Infinity told me I wasn’t ready for that yet. This week I’ve been focused on Chapter 3, which is where everything gets fun. The most challenging part of Chapt. 3 is walking my walk.
Since I spend the whole dissertation talking about hospitality, I think it is only fair that I give the essay a hospitable reading, but ultimately the chapter says “Hey, you got it wrong.” The entire chapter is an attempt to respectfully disagree with what the article says.
Learning and not learning my lesson
Life is ridiculously stressful right now. Yes, that is a stupid statement, because really … When isn’t life stressful?
For a myriad of reasons I won’t list because it will just sound like whining, it seems like life has moved beyond the normal limit of stress, and into the patently ridiculous. Honestly, all I can do about it is shake my head and chuckle bitterly.
A few years ago, I learned my lesson about stress the hard way, so I know that I should be managing this all a little better, but to be honest I’m kind of at a loss. Too much is happening too fast, and finding a way to slow it down enough to even fit any sort of de-stressing activity into my day is impossible. What I do know is I need to figure this out because my stress level is manifesting in distraction. My attention span is pretty non-existent at this point, and at least twice today I’ve opened a program only to stare at the screen wondering what it was I meant to do.
The .25 seconds it takes me to log into an account shouldn’t be long enough to make me forget what I was doing. It’s definitely time to start ignoring myself, and really committing to some daily yoga practice. Laying off the caffeine might help too, but who really thinks that is going to happen any time soon.
D5 Creation